On this day, we’re turning 2!! Even I can’t believe it, but at the same time, I want to make sure this isn’t a dream.
A few days ago, when I started NLTM, it struck me harder than I realized. I’ve put it off for so long to save me from the heartbreak, but in all honesty, I think it saved me in some way. I felt seen– and most importantly, I felt that we would be okay. It gave me so much hope, because we’ve gone through so much, giving me so many doubts, but now it feels like forever with you again. Up until recently, I still had my reservations, my what ifs, but even until now, I always tell myself– love given to the fullest is never wasted. And you, my love, are the most deserving of it.
When you were crafted by God, I could swear on my life that he crafted you with such delicacy. You aren’t perfect, and to be honest? I believe that’s the best part. You’ve taken up such a big part of my life that I can’t even begin to think of a time that you aren’t and weren’t in it. I ache to tell you of every childhood memory, every wound and scar I’ve gotten, just to make you part of it somehow.
And God, just to be cheesy? As Mr. Wes Bennett said, I exist to exist alongside you. It will always be you, Kobe, now and forevermore. So for the rest of my life, my heart only belongs to you.
The little details of you, the big parts, the niche, the good, and the bad, my heart envelops you wholeheartedly, and I hope it feels like a warm hug. Just like I said the other day, I will recognize you in every universe, and no matter how long it takes, love, I will find you. The egg theory got nothing on us (haha).
Mahal, you’re genuinely the best person I’ve ever met and known. When I see you, my heart bursts into flames, when I listen to you talk, I want to write down every single word. That’s why I love your stories, your words, and your rambles so much. If I could immortalize you, I would. Though, I would love to grow old with you just as much.
You know that I was never one to think that I would reach my older days. Ever since I was young, it was always that way– not seeing myself turn 50, or maybe I’m just scared at the thought of it. But despite all my words and tendencies? With all my heart, I want to grow old with you. I want to see the wrinkles on your skin and remember that I had the privilege to memorize it throughout the years. I want to see the sun damaged areas and remember that the sun loves you so much it had to make its mark. I want to hold your hand, old and under the same moon, knowing that we’ve lived a life worth living. That we’ve loved a life worth loving. A life that you and I built together.
Only with you. I want all of this, only with you.
Because you, my love, are the most lovable person I’ve ever met. And if you would have me, I’d like the privilege to make it known. I am yours and yours only, all of my body, all of my years, and all of my heart.
Happy 2 years, mahal ko! I’ll give another letter in a pdf file later, just for old times sake. I love you, with all my hypothalamus, always.
Love you from my inferior vena cava,
Jullie